This App Lets You Mine Cryptocurrency by Jerking Off

If there’s one thing you’ll see lots of at the intersection of adult entertainment and blockchain, it’s puns.

“Despite a limp market, goes hard!” reads the subject line of the adult industry blockchain payment company’s newsletter, while SpankChain users can generate “BOOTY” (you know, pirates’ treasure). The latest high class wordplay to take the adult entertainment blockchain space by storm is, according to the announcement, “the world’s first ‘proof-of-jerk.’”

How does one prove “jerk”? you might be thinking. Similar to the way people who wear Fitbits prove that they’re exercising—by doing it while wearing a smartwatch. Discreetly, the app is called “Cocktail Mixer” and encourages users to “start mixing.” While “mixing that cocktail,” a motion that happens to mimic masturbation, users can mine cryptocurrency—but only if they’re “mixing” while visiting specific partner websites.

“I know what you’re thinking,” says a glistening Titus Steel (a porn actor who’s appeared in titles such as “Pool Orgy” and “Sex Is For Lovers 5″—those are the tame ones) as he sits undressed in front of a computer to some telling sounds in a promotional video for the new app. “But it’s not what it looks like. I’m mining tokens.” (Warning, the video is not so safe for work.)

You can thank Sharesome, a social network for posting adult content, for introducing the proof-of-jerk concept. The platform’s tokens are called Flame, and there are a total of 21 million of them in existence. Users who sign up for Sharesome automatically get an airdrop of 250 Flame tokens (this conflicts with the information provided in the promotional video, which says users get 1,000 tokens when they sign up). Besides rewarding masturbators, Flame tokens can also be used to pay posters and performers of adult content on Sharesome.

Sharesome doesn’t explicitly describe how its token mining mechanism works. Presumably users’ smartwatches (either Apple or Android) are connected to the desktop where they watch pornography on Sharesome’s partner sites, and while they’re logged into those sites, the app monitors their movements. None of the cryptocurrency mined goes toward the performers, but in an email to BREAKER, a representative from the company wrote, “Currently we don’t have that feature implemented, but I think it’s a great idea!”

There’s precedent for physical proof-of-work. For example, a science project called Mangocoinz, launched around four years ago at Belgrade’s School of Computing, tied exercise like jogging to mining coins, and there are at least a couple of ICOs that promise tokens in exchange for working out. However, mining requires a lot of energy, suggesting the need for a vigorous session whether you’re jerking or jogging (sorry). Then there’s the possible issue of simulating exercise by moving the smartwatch and not yourself. You could theoretically turn on one of Sharesome’s partner websites, go to the Cocktail Mixer app, and attach your watch to, say, a Shake Weight.

The Cocktail Mixer app is currently available on both Apple’s app store and the Google Play store.