44COIN Is the ICO Parody We All Deserve

If you follow blockchain, you probably have some understanding of cybersecurity. But are you up to date on cider-security? What are your thoughts on the YOLOCRYPT protocol? And how far above 100 percent unhackable does your storage go?

If you can’t answer these questions, you haven’t yet heard of 44COIN—so we’ll let CEO Don McFlurry make an introduction.

Besides gems like, “we’ve partnered with Russia’s 5th safest crypto-exchange to allow our investors to make money while they sleep,” it’s on Twitter that 44COIN comes into its own. The account posts a stream of nearly-plausible statements about the “unhackable” technology and the support of entrepreneurs like “Enron Musk.”

In a dig at the cash-for-endorsement practices rife within the industry, the website also lists noted blockchain skeptic David Gerard as an advisor, along with this extremely convincing quote:

We wanted to find out more about this hot new project, so we reached out to Don McFlurry himself via Twitter DM to find out about the technology and team behind the groundbreaking physical-virtual currency.

So, I’m not too familiar with the principles of cidersecurity. Can you summarize?
Cidersecurity is the protection of alcoholic beverages from theft, intentional corruption or damage, as well as from disruption or misdirection to related services.

The physical token looks pretty fancy. How does it work?
The physical token uses a proprietary YOLOCRYPT™ accelerator based on a Tierneray chip system, not unlike proposals for IOTA. Once assembled, the coin can be used either to exchange for alcoholic beverages, or the next round consensus algorithm can be deployed in a round robin scenario to establish who will buy the next round of drinks, using proof of alcohol.

There’s been a lot of skepticism about your CTO Téa Béecée’s claim to have 20 years blockchain experience. What’s the deal there?

44COIN CTO Téa Béecée

Téa Béecée is absolutely not a made up person. She graduated Summa cum thingelse from a top five Madagascan university, studying distributed timestamp verification models and hair care.

Frankly we’re all shocked to see how many attacks there have been on Téa. There’s so many hateful sexist and racist people out there who just assume that because Téa’s an attractive woman of colour that somehow this means she can’t have 20 years blockchain experience. Misogynists!

How did the launch go?
It went exceptionally well, although my wallet was stolen and we lost some bitcoin and Ethereum. Aside from a small misunderstanding with the hotel about payment and a similarly named (but unrelated)
@44CON event taking place at the same time it was all fantastic. Also, nobody successfully hacked our coin, which means we expect 200 percent security in the next few days

What would you say to convince investors to buy into the ICO?
Investors can’t buy into the ICO anymore as this investment round is closed, but we’re working with our Korean partners for a revolutionary wallet. We’ll have to open later this year for further investment, but according to the guys in Pyongyang, it’ll be the first wallet with built in ransomware. BitCryLocker should be coming out in Jan 2019.

Sounds like you have a solid product and team. Good luck!